No One Wants a Surface Friend

Everyone comes across this type of person once or multiple times in his or her life. You know who I am talking about. This person befriends you. You hang out with him/her, laugh with each other, go out, talk about the trivial things and have a blast. Sounds cool, right? But how does this person help you advance in life? Can you truly be yourself with this person? Can you confide in them? And does he/she push you in the right direction? All these questions are essential to ask yourself if you want to know if you have a surface friend on your hands. A surface friend is a "friend" that you can have fun with, but you and him/her can only do just that - stay on the surface. Talking about your deepest thoughts, emotions, and connecting is not in the "friend" contract.

Notice that I used quotes with the word FRIEND. I'm not indicating that this person isn't your friend. Maybe this person was meant to serve a specific purpose in a time in your life where they were needed. Sometimes surface friends are for a season of your life and leave after you overcome an obstacle or conquered a fear. But many times, people do not recognize this and decide to keep these surface friends on the Forever Friendship roster.

Don't get friends-known-for-certain-things mixed up with surface friends. Yes, people can have friends that they talk to about certain things - that's normal! For instance, you might talk to Robin about your boyfriend issues all the time, while you talk to Stephan mostly about family problems. Nonetheless, these type of friends still serve the purpose of a friend because they provide a specific need in your life and allow you to express yourself. They are there for in a certain capacity.  Surface friends are different.These friends don't necessarily know a lot about you, nor do they take initiative to learn more about the things you like, the things you hate, your family, your quirks, your pet peeves, etc..  Superficial conversations will only get you so far. People need friends that they can really let their hair down with and be themselves. Just because you spend every waking moment with with your surface friend doesn't mean they are your bestest friend in the world entire universe.

Ask yourself this question: What is your friendship based on?

Friends are there to encourage you, keep you spiritually accountable, keep you company, and of course, to ensure that you have tons of fun. If they don't do any of these, maybe you should evaluate why exactly you keep this friend in your life. Not everyone you have fun with or who makes you laugh is your friend.

Now, that is where the heart is <3